Because I was with you
by Idaho is for Gems
Summary: A story about Blaze and her new home, she is persued by two of the newsies, but which one will she choose? Will she ever give in and tell them her past?


**Because I am with you**

A newsie Fanfic

Spot Conlon was walking down the pier one day when out of the blue he sees a girl dressed as a newsie running down an alley headed straight for him. He stopped right in the middle of her path, but she didn't see him because she was checking to make sure no one was following her. She ran right into Spot, the king of Brooklyn and due to her height and the fact that she had some meat on her bones she plowed into him and they toppled head over heals at least five times.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, but I got to run." the girl said checking over her shoulders.

"No one runs into Spot Conlon's and doesn't properly apologize," Spot said puffing out his chest and blocking her way.

"Look I don't really care who you are, I just got to hide," The girl said still whipping her red chin length head of hair around.

"Well aren't you a charmer," Spot said as he pushed the girl in the river hoping she could swim.

At that precise moment a newsie with curly black hair came running down the pier looking around.

"Hey! You seen a girl with red hair?" the unfamiliar newsie asked.

"Nope just me and my sling shot out here," Spot said wondering why he was covering for the girl he just pushed in the river. He didn't know why he was covering for her, maybe it was her innocent looking face, or maybe it was her attractive features, or maybe it was simply that she looked like she needed help. Whatever the reason was Spot couldn't figure out what it was, but when the girl surfaced as the newsie looked a way and a look of fear washed over her face, Spot knew he did the right thing.

The newsie quickly left to go look for the girl. Spot pulled her out of the water as he asked, "Ok so what is your name, who was that guy, and why are you running from him?"

"Well you're not one to beat around the bush are you?" she said as she got the rest of the dirty river water out of her lungs.

Spot gave her a look, with his cold blue eyes, that would have scared the toughest of newsies so she quickly straighten her self up and started to talk.

"My name is Blaze, Blaze O'Connell," She said sticking her hand out to Spot and when he didn't respond she stuck it back in her pocket. "So it's going to be like that. Well that was Andrew Headly called Curly from the Bronx, where I formerly lived. As for the reason he's chasing me is that I threatened to soak him for forcing himself on me. He's got a worse temper than you and the last girl who turned him down was found dead on the street last week," Blaze explained.

"Now that you know everything about me, who are you, what are you doing here and why did you save me?" Blaze asked.

"I'm Spot Conlon, leader of the Brooklyn newsies. I'm here because its Brooklyn territory and I don't know why I saved you. I did and I think that deserves a thank you," Spot said twirling his cane and thumbing his suspenders.

"Well now that you're through giving yourself a fat head, I'll be on my way," Blaze said turning to go.

"Well you can't stick around here because that Curly kid is looking for you. Why don't I take you over to the Manhattan Lodging House? You're a newsie right?" Spot asked wondering why he was being so nice. The girl had offended him why was he offering to protect her?

"Yeah I'm a newsie but I'm not going to Manhattan, to close to the Bronx," Blaze called over her shoulder as she walked back down the pier.

"Well if I talk to Jack Kelley I'm sure he can protect you," Spot said running to catch up with her while he wondered why he was practically groveling.

"Does this Jack Kelley have better manners than you?" Blaze said trying to get Spot's blood to boil so that he would stop following her around like a love sick pup.

At that Spot balled up his fists and through clenched teeth he said, "Yeah he's a great guy."

Laughing to herself at the way Spot was still trying to please her after she made him angry, she said "Alright I'll go there for the night, but if I don't like it there I'm gone."

With a bit of excitement Spot showed Blaze to the Lodging House. They climbed the stairs to see Jack Kelley sitting on his bunk.

"Cowboy, Blaze needs to stay here for a while. She's got problems in the Bronx and a guy named Curly is looking for her in Brooklyn," Spot said.

Jack looked Blaze up and down. She had a Newsies cap pulled over her head of straight chin length red hair. She had sharp features and freckles all over her face. She came up to his chin and was skinny, but looked like she hadn't been starving for many weeks, but it had happened once before. Cowboy knew, he could see a hunger, desperation in her deep green eyes that a person received from starving almost to the point of death. There was something about her that scared Jack, but comforted him at the same time. He wanted to get to know what made her seem that way.

Spot saw Jack check Blaze out, which made him a little jealous, but when he saw Jack shake his head, as if he was remembering Sarah, it made Spot want to shout for joy.

"Ok let's go see Mr. Kloppman," Jack said jumping off his bunk and leading Blaze downstairs.

They got Blaze all signed in and the rest of the newsies slowly trickled in. Jack introduced her to a numberless amount of newsies, but one really stuck out in her mind. They called him Racetrack. He permanently had a cigar dangling out of the corner of his mouth and he came up to about her nose.

Racetrack was equally taken aback by Blaze. She seemed to be able to look into a person and see the real them and their past.

When she shook hands with the newsies she didn't look at their hands like most shy people do, she was shy with most of them but, she looked right into their eyes and she tilted her head and seemed to see everything. This really caught Racetracks attention because when she looked at him she chuckled to herself like the mere sight of him reminded her of a joke.

In truth, the reason Blaze laughed when she looked at Racetrack was because he reminded her of her favorite older brother before the bad stuff happened. He had dark wavy hair, a pouting lower lip and chubby cheeks when times were good.

After she was introduced to all the Newsies she joined a poker game started by Racetrack.

"So you got a selling partner?" Racetrack asked her hoping he could be her partner.

"No, I figured I would sell on my own like I always have, but with Curly after me I really could use a partner," Blaze said looking first at Racetrack then to Spot.

"Oh I'll be your partner," Racetrack said as quickly as he could because he could see Spot starting to open his mouth to volunteer.

As they played on Spot sent Racetrack evil glares, which he did not think Blaze saw. She smiled to herself as she realized they wanted to be there for her and to get to know her. At the end of the game Mr. Kloppman came and told the newsies to find their bunks and as Blaze went to look for an open bunk she noticed Spot push Jack off his bunk and pretend to go back to sleep. She saw Racetrack push another newsie off of his bunk, but as Jack found a bunk on the other side of the room, Blaze noticed a bunk next to him. Seeing as how the other boys were trying to hard to get her attention, she sat down on the bunk next to Jacks.

"Hey is it ok if I sleep here?" Blaze asked Jack

"Yeah its fine." Jack said.

Blaze smiled as she lay down and tried to get to sleep. As usual in the middle of the night she was tormented by dreams of her family and her past life. She woke up to find someone shaking her. When she opened her eyes and saw Spot leaning over her head, Jack on her left and Racetrack on her right. She realized she must have been crying as the last few tears dried off her face and the concerned look on the boys faces.

"I'll. . . I'll be fine," Blaze stammered.

"Are you sure you don't need any help? You were crying pretty hard." Spot said with a wink trying to make her smile.

"No I'm fine, I'll explain it to you tomorrow," Blaze said turning to her right to see Racetrack blush then get up and walk back to his bunk.

When the boys awoke, Blaze was already up and ready waiting for Racetrack at the door to show her to the distribution center.

As Spot and Racetrack raced for time in the washroom the other boys gave them inquisitive looks as the two competed to be Blaze's escort. Spot and Racetrack were done not more than a few minutes after they entered the wash room and were sprinting down the stairs at trying to go faster than the other. As they reached the door Blaze held her arm out to both of them, each taking her arm with enough vigor to tear her arms out. As she gave a yelp of pain both boys faces flushed and Racetrack apologized. Spot not being one to apologize gave her a sympathetic look and she took her arm away from him.

"Well I was just trying to help you since you don't know the way to the distribution center, but if you prefer this street rat alright," Spot said trying to save his dignity.

"Well you're the street rat who nearly pulled my arm off and didn't apologize," Blaze said to Spot putting her hands on her hips.

"Now now, we can act civilized can't we?" Racetrack said to break up the fight.

"Well lead on boys I can follow you I don't need any of you to steady me." Blaze said.

As they walked on, the boys started to wonder why she had been crying the night before. They looked to each other knowing the other was wondering what had caused her tears. Finally Racetrack fell into step with Blaze, who had been walking behind them, to ask her what she had dreamt.

"So how'd you sleep?" Racetrack asked smoothing out his hair.

Sensing what he was getting at and not wanting to tell him then Blaze said, "On my side."(Sorry guys I had to)

Laughing at what Blaze had just said he rephrased the question, "What did you dream about last night?"

Still trying to avoid what he was getting at Blaze answered, "Selling papers."

At that they reached the distribution center. They bought their papers and Racetrack and Blaze went off to sell by the racetrack.

"That horse isn't going to run so well," Blaze said looking at a horse Racetrack had just bet on.

"How do you know?" Racetrack asked a little offended she was undermining his decision.

"I can just tell. I spent a lot of time around horses. That ones not going to run," Blaze announced still looking at that horse. Racetrack saw a faraway look in her eyes and he decided to take her advice. She walked towards the horse to tell the jockey not to push it too hard when Racetrack saw a pair of sticks sticking out of her pocket. He wondered what they were for, but he had to go change his bet and then go sell more papers.

Blaze and Racetrack finished up selling their papers quickly due to Blaze's and Racetrack's team effort. The horse Blaze had warned against had actually torn a tendon that race and Racetrack was thankful she had warned him. Noticing the sticks still in her pocket as they walked towards the lodging house Racetrack decided to bring them up.

"What are those sticks for?" Racetrack asked.

"Oh those I use to play the cans with." Blaze answered very nonchalantly.

"The cans?" Racetrack asked not quite understanding.

"Here let me show you," Blaze said pulling out the two sticks and approaching a few trashcans on the side of the Lodging House. As she looked at the cans she tapped each can a couple a times then rearranged them and then looked towards Racetrack.

Racetrack raised his eyebrow not understanding what was going on until Blaze started to play a tune on the drums. It was like the calypso music Racetrack had heard when he walked by some Jamaicans. He could hear what she was trying to play and it made Racetrack want to dance. So he did.

As Racetrack started to dance Blaze couldn't help but laugh the way he danced just was so funny for his tuff exterior. She had only been playing a few moments when she fell over from laughter. Racetrack not understanding why she had collapsed ran over to her when the music had stopped. He found her rolling on the floor laughing so he started to and he helped her up off the ground.

Blaze and Racetrack were laughing as they entered the Lodging house and Spot stood there and watched. He didn't want to admit it to himself but in a way he envied Racetrack. He knew he was supposed to be tuff and not care what anyone thought, but this Blaze girl really struck home.

As Blaze and Racetrack ran up the stairs, Spot noticed a pair of sticks in Blaze's hand and he wondered what they were for. He also wondered what she had dreamt about the night before that had made her cry. He was determined to find out who she was.

"Hey Blaze, what are those sticks for? Soaking Curly?" Spot asked and as Blaze turned around she gave a sigh.

"Ok anyone who wants to know why I have these sticks meets me outside now," Blaze called to all the newsies in the house.

So the newsies piled out of the lodging house, most wondering what the new girl was talking about. She tapped the trash cans by the lodging house and everybody was now wondering what she was doing. So already having arranged the cans she started to play around and they all felt the rhythm in their feet.

When Jack came down the street he saw all of his newsies dancing and Spot giving them a disgusted look, he could also hear someone tapping on some trashcans and that made Cowboy wanted to dance to. He couldn't let his guard down so he approached the dancing crowd to see what was going on. He rounded the corner and saw Blaze tapping away at the cans and seeing her smiling he decided he should dance to. With that Spot decided heck if Jack's going to do he would to.

When Blaze saw Spot dancing, the all mighty feared king of Brooklyn dancing around she started laughing again. When it got to be the point where Blaze just couldn't keep playing from laughing she stopped and you could hear her high pitch laugh all the way around the block.

Spot looked around and stopped dancing when the music stopped and everyone erupted in laughter. The newsies were all laughing and Jack walked up to Blaze.

"Good going Sticks," Jack said patting Blaze on the back and putting emphasis on the new nickname.

"Sticks, hmm I like it!" Blaze said with a smile.

"I would say it sticks!" Racetrack said smiling and everyone groaned or chuckled at Racetrack's lame joke.

At that everyone re entered the lodging house in a better mood. Spot, Racetrack and Cowboy shared a knowing glance that they all wanted to know what she dreamt about.

"Hey Blaze," Jack called to her.

"Yeah," Blaze said eyeing the boys.

"We need to talk," Spot said in a tone that told her they wanted information.

"Oh this is about last night huh," Blaze said with a solemn tone the looking to the floor.

"Yeah, we just want to know what you dreamt about," Racetrack said concerned.

"Well every night since I threatened Curly I've seen my bodying lying in the street where the last girls was. I see the blood everywhere and I see Curly laughing over my body," Blaze said making up a quick lie. The boys gave each other looks knowing she was lying, but if she didn't want to talk about it they wouldn't force her.

"It's ok we'll protect you," Racetrack giving her a one armed hug.

"Yeah, we'll soak him for you," Spot said taking her arm and leading her back into the lodging house as Racetrack and Jack watched on.

"Racetrack, I know you like Blaze and I know you guys are selling partners, maybe you can find her past," Jack said sauntering towards the lodging house.

"Is it really that obvious?" Racetrack said as he stopped in his tracks leaving his mouth agape.

"Yeah, so how were the races?" Jack asked chuckling.

"It was the weirdest thing Sticks told me not to bet on this horse and it pulled a tendon!" Racetrack mentioned the strange happening of the day.

"That Sticks is a mysterious one," Jack expressed shaking his head as he entered the lodging house.

The next week passed just as that day and they got into a routine. But one day before anyone awoke Blaze peered out the window and standing at the door was Curly. She almost had a heart attack.

"Racetrack! Spot! Jack! Anyone!" Blaze said running around shaking any newsie she could reach trying to wake them up.

"What is it Sticks?" Racetrack asked groggily while rubbing his eyes.

"Its Curly he's outside!" Blaze screeched waking up Spot and Jack.

"We'll go soak him!" Jack said pulling Spot along with him. They pulled on their pants and their shirts. Retrieved their hats and Spot grabbed his slingshot. At that point Blaze began to cry.

Racetrack walked over to her with a worried look. "What's wrong?" Racetrack asked, "Is this about Curly? Because Jack and Spot will take care of him."

"No," Blaze managed to utter through her sobs. It took her awhile but eventually got to muttering, "I don't want to have to move again. If Curly wants to hurt me he will get to me, so I have to leave. I had to leave so many places and people behind me. Just when things seemed perfect."

"We'll take care of him, you don't have to leave," Racetrack whispered rocking her in his arms.

Out in the street the fight was raging. Spot had hit him a couple of good times with his sling shot, but had run out of shooters. Jack was trying to land a couple of punches when the rest of the newsies poured out of the lodging house.

"Soak him!" They cried from the sides.

Spot and Jack were circling Curly and he had a true look of fright on his face.

"All of this for some lousy girl?" Curly cried baffled at how they were defending her.

"Sticks isn't just some girl she's one of us," Spot cried landing a few good punches.

With that Curly gave up and the crowd trickled back into the lodging house to finish getting ready.

"You leave her alone, you hear?" Jack said to Curly who was lying on the ground.

"Alright Alright, but you guys better set her straight, a girl like that is no good," Curly said as he got up and left in the direction of the Bronx.

When the newsies went upstairs they found Racetrack holding a crying Sticks in his arm. They tiptoed around so as not to disturb them and then left.

Jack and Spot walked towards the two coughing to make them notice them approaching. Racetrack looked up, blushed and set Sticks on her bed.

"Hey Sticks, you alright?" Jack asked looking over her.

"I will be what happened with Curly?" Sticks said sniffling and wiping away her tears.

"We soaked him and he promised not to return," Spot said dusting himself off like he was fresh from battle.

With a laugh Blaze said, "My heroes." Racetrack felt a little betrayed since he had been the one comforting her but understood that they had an important role.

Jack signaled to the other two to go get ready for the day. As they got up and left Jack sat on her bed and looked down at her.

"You're playing with these boys hearts you know," Jack said meaning Spot and Racetrack

"I know," Sticks said looking down at her hands.

"You should sell with Spot for a day, he can be a real gentleman," Jack said, "and since you haven't had the best of luck with turning down boys I would say give it awhile before you decide. Ok?" Jack suggested.

"Alright, Hey Spot! Can I sell with you today?" Sticks called.

Spot looked over at Racetrack flashed a smirk and called back, "Yeah sure."

They walked to the distribution center with no incidents. They got their papers and set out to sell.

"So what exactly happened between you and that Curly guy?" Spot asked looking at the headlines, "This morning he said a girl like you is no good."

"He probably means that I get mood swings." Sticks explained

"Mood swings? All girls have those," Spot said chuckling.

"Mine... are more drastic," Sticks tried to put it softly.

"Drastic? What do you mean? Like sometimes you want to kill yourself?" Spot asked still chuckling because a happy girl like Sticks could never be like that.

"Yeah. Sometimes. One week I'll be happy the next two I will be suicidal," Sticks said shuffling her feet, "It's my family curse."

"Are you serious?" Spot said as his jaw went slack.

"Wish I wasn't," Blaze said as she looked down at Spot with a sad look in her eyes.

"Oh gosh, I am so sorry, but I don't believe in curses," Spot said trying to make it better.

"Well then it's the only thing that I have received from my family, the only thing my dad passed down." Sticks said wiping away tears that had escaped her eyes.

"Extra Extra!" Spot called getting off the subject.

They finished selling and started the walk back to the lodging house. Blaze was still in a solemn mood, but was trying to hide it.

"Hey Sticks you want to play some music when we get back? I bet we can get Race to play along on his harmonica," Spot offered for cheer.

"Yeah that would be nice," Sticks muttered as she looked down at Spot with a fake smile.

When they got back to the lodging house they called all the newsies out for some more dancing. Racetrack played his harmonica along with Sticks' cans. They had a great time, but it began to be late so they stopped the music and the dancing and re entered the lodging house.

"Hey Sticks!" Racetrack called, "I had a bad day at the track, and maybe you can help me tomorrow?"

"Sure," Blaze said glancing back at Spot who cringed when Racetrack offered.

They spent the night at the lodging house playing cards and laughing. Everyone was especially careful not to mention the events of the morning, particularly Racetrack holding Sticks in his arms.

That night Sticks once again awakened Racetrack and Spot with her cries. They appeared by her bed giving each other looks that said back off this girls mine. They awakened her as carefully as possible and when Sticks saw Spot leaning over her left side she gave him a look that begged him not to tell Racetrack.

Spot gave her a wink as Racetrack wondered what was going on.

"You ok?" Racetrack asked interrupting their stare.

"Oh I will be thanks Racetrack," She said as she pushed herself up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Spot was ready for her to give him one too, but she just gave him a wink, and a little disappointed he left for bed.

Racetrack almost floated back to bed he was so happy and he couldn't stop rubbing his cheek where she had kissed him. He saw Spot punch his pillow which made Racetrack chuckle. They all went back to sleep and slept through the rest of the night.

When they got up they walked to distribution in a line Sticks in the middle with Spot on her right and Racetrack on her left.

"Hey Spot, I am going to sell with Racetrack today. He thinks I can give him a hot tip on the horses," Sticks said sending Spot a pleading look.

"Hey I sell better by myself," Spot said, it was true, but he was still disappointed.

They got their papers and separated for the day.

When Racetrack and Sticks reached the stables at the track Race started looking at each horse trying to decide which one to bet on.

"Any hot tips today?" Racetrack looked to Sticks with a smile.

Sticks walked around looking at each horse very carefully. "

"Hmm, well this one is a slow one," Blaze noted nodding at a horse, "And this one is not feeling good." she said nodding at another horse. "Here bet on this one, he's got spirit, he's got runners legs and he breathes right." Blaze said pointing to a horse.

"Alright, number 10 it is. How do you know all this stuff?" Racetrack asked.

"I used to spend a lot of time around horses." Blaze answered shortly.

They cast Racetrack's bet and sold their papers. The horse Sticks had picked won five straight races. Racetrack's bets got higher and higher and he brought in more and more income.

As he collected for the last time that day he handed Sticks some money.

"What's this for?" Sticks asked staring at the money he had just handed to her.

"Your half." Racetrack explained.

"Oh I can't take this, spending the day was enough payment for me," Sticks said giving Race a kiss on the cheek and stuffing the money back in his pockets. "Save it for the future."

"Alright, but I have to know one thing," Race said, "How do you know so much about horses?" Racetrack asked intent on getting a real answer.

"Do you really want to know?" Blaze said getting as serious look on her face.

"Yes," Racetrack answered.

"Alright we should probably stop in here," She said motioning to an alley, "So I can tell you the whole story with no interruptions."

They stopped in an alley way and Blaze started from the beginning.

"About 2 years ago I lived in California. I had 2 sisters and an older brother. My father was an angry man and he often beat us. He had episodes where he would be happy for a period and then he would get angry for a period. I inherited that from him, but I also get very depressed and sad. Well on with my story, one day my sisters and my mother were fighting and my father was trying to take a nap. He told them to shut up many times, but they continued to fight as they did almost every day. Well he got out his shot gun, which shut them up. Well then he was just angry and…and," Blaze couldn't go on her throat was choked with tears.

"It's okay take your time," Racetrack said wiping away her tears and pulling her into his arms.

"Well then," She said pulling herself together, "He shot my mother then my 2 sisters. He looked at me and screamed 'what have I done?' and I just cried and couldn't make a sound. He looked at me and said 'You should have stopped me. This is your fault.' then he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide. At that moment my brother came home and saw that everyone was dead. He took one look at me and said 'We have to get out of here.' And that's just what we did. We rode form California to Oregon to Texas. We had a great time. My brother always made me a laugh he was my favorite person, well that was until we reached Texas. A few days after we reached Texas my curse caught up with us. I don't know what happened but…but…" once again the tears had overtaken Blaze's story. She choked up and couldn't speak for an hour. The sun set and Racetrack still held her no one disturbed them, but many newsies looked down that alley way. Finally Blaze summed up her courage to tell the rest of her story. "Well I had a fight with my brother one night. He had come home and found me playing with his razor blades. I had been contemplating suicide for a few weeks, like I do often and he came home and found me about to go through with it. He screamed at me he asked me how I could succumb to the thing that had destroyed our family in the first place. I remember him apologizing and rocking me to sleep then I guess he left. I was told he went to a bar and got drunk and finally killed himself." again Blaze was to grief stricken to talk so they sat there and Racetrack rocked her back and forth while she soaked his shirt with tears.

Cowboy came by and seeing that it was almost time for them to be into the lodging house he asked them to come home and finish talking on the roof or somewhere private near there. So since Blaze was in no condition to get up and walk Racetrack carried her to the lodging house. When they got there everyone could see how distraught Blaze was and they left them alone. Even Spot could see that this was no time to fight with Racetrack over the girl. So Racetrack carried her out onto the fire escape and got a blanket out. He wrapped her up in the blanket and continued rocking her back and forth.

"Ok…can you tell me the rest of your story?" Racetrack asked real gentle.

"Yeah," Blaze said wiping away a few tears, "Well after that I found a horse and I rode him around the plains. I stole him from a jockey in Texas, who was a friend of my brothers. I spent half a year wandering around on that horse. I learned to read what was going on inside him as well as many of the wild horses on the plains. Well I rode him to Brooklyn and sold him. Well that was about a few weeks before Curly came into the picture so that's my story," Blaze said wrapping the blanket around her tighter.

"Wow, you had a real tuff life." Racetrack said looking down at her in his lap. "I wish I could have been there for you. There is something I have to tell you. I really like you Blaze. I might even go to say I love you."

"I have known that since I laid eyes on you, but Spot really likes me to." Blaze said feeling sorry for Racetrack. "I have to tell him my story and after that I will tell you which of you I will go with." Blaze said figuring it out as she said it. She dreaded telling Spot, but she knew she had to just so then he had a fair chance. She already really liked Racetrack and she figured she would pick him but, she needed to give Spot a chance.

"Will you ask Spot to come out here Race?" Sticks said with a weak smile.

"Sure," Racetrack answered getting up knowing that he had a fair chance.

"I hear you wanted to see me?" Spot said climbing on to the fire escape.

"Yes I do. I need to tell you what I have been dreaming about," Blaze said preparing herself for the flood of sorrow that would wash over her when she told her story.

She told it to him and Spot just sat on the other side of the fire escape listening to what she said. He didn't move once, not even when she erupted into sobs. He didn't dry her tears or rock her or hold her like Racetrack had done. As she drew her story to a close she looked at Spot.

"Well are you going to say anything?" Blaze asked.

"Sounds like you had a ruff time of it." Spot said not even moving a finger.

"Spot, I know you and Racetrack have been fighting over me." Sticks said putting it out there like a heavy rain cloud.

"Yeah, well which one of us are you going to go with?" Spot said still not moving even to brush away the ant on his hand.

"Spot, you're a great guy and I know you have a reputation to protect. I know there are so many other girls out there dying to have you. But I can't be one of them. You are to cold, to distant for me. I need someone to hold me to brush away my tears, but with you it seems like all contact is hurtful. I really wish I could be with you, but you remind me to much of a past I don't want to remember. You remind me of the man that ruined my family and my life, my father. I know that many people fall for people who remind them of their father, but I am not one of them. I can't help it Spot you are just too distant and to unemotional. I'm sorry." Blaze explained and with that Spot got up and climbed back into the lodging house.

Racetrack climbed out onto the fire escape, "Hey you," he said, "Who did you choose?"

Without any words Blaze pulled him closer to her crying into his chest for the times she couldn't cry and the times she had. She wanted to stay like that forever, holding onto the one person who had felt sorry for her. Not even her brother had showed compassion, he had been nice but never felt sorry for her when she had witnessed their mother's and sister's murders. He had been the one who wouldn't talk about what hurt a joker, like Spot, who banished pain by jokes. Blaze needed someone to hold her. And she decided that person was Racetrack. They lay like that all night. Not stirring and no one bothered them. They held onto each other until the sun rose and Spot knocked on the window with a wide grin on his face. He seemed to be ok with the way things had turned out. As they got up and were about to re enter the building Racetrack turned to Blaze.

"Hey Blaze you didn't cry last night." Racetrack said.

And as Blaze thought about it she hadn't even dreamt of the hard times. She looked back at Racetrack and said, "It's because I was with you."


End file.
